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A-KON Special: "Rules For The Masses
Publishers Summary Transcript : Germaine : Konichi wa : Foamy : Welcome One and all to the Na Na naa na na naaaaa. : Germaine : Do I have to wear this? : Foamy : Akon convention!! : Germaine : I don't want to wear this. : Foamy : That's right you are now at the. : Germaine : this is stupid. : Foamy : Akon convention! : Germaine : Burp : Foamy : Sounds like acorn. But its not. So I guess the joke is on me. : Foamy : Anyway wah ah who the hell am I? I am Foamy. Foamy the Squirrel. Do a damn Google search. Damn it. Anyway, since I'm here, there are some simple rules that everybody needs to know. Ah don't worry, these rules aren't drastic. We're not asking for kidneys or organs or anything like that. We don't even want your blood. Unless you go to the vampire booth, they'll take it. : Germaine : Burp : Foamy : Rule number one. No Smoking. The last thing we need is some guy runnin' around throwing cigarette butts everywhere trying to start a fire. It's not fun when you're burning. So if you're gonna smoke, take it outside, all right. Dallas, Texas is hot enough. You don't need to be putting something that's on fire in your mouth. : Germaine : EEEEKK! : Foamy : Yeah ok. : Germaine : What is wrong with this thing? : Foamy : Next rule. There's drinking here. However, if you wish to partake in these alcoholic beverages, you need ID. So when someone says "'Cuse Me, You got your ID?" Don't take out your Dragon Ball Z fan club membership card. Doesn't work here. Don't take out your sailor moon nudey site membership card. That doesn't work here. We'd like a driver's license, a passport or something, ok. Not difficult. Yeah since were on the topic of drinking, Drink responsibly, ok. We don't need anyone dressed up for like. cowboy bebop with a lampshade on their head pukin' on the tables, ok. Oh, oh yeah and if your under age and drinking, the security here. will kill you. If your underage, don't drink. We don't need six year olds with coronas. : Germaine : This costume has no practical uses in combat. : Foamy : What rule are we up to? Ah number three. : Germaine : What am I supposed to do? Beat people with my tit? : Foamy : No weapons, ok. : Germaine : Boob of death! : Foamy : Guns, : Germaine : hyaa : Foamy : Knives, : Germaine : whowaa : Foamy : Any kind of nuclear device, : Germaine : howaaaa : Foamy : Should be left at home. Unless it's part of the costume it doesn't need to be here. : Germaine : This costume is itching me. : Foamy : And if you're dressing up as like Robotech, leave the giant robot at home. We don't need some giant monster smashing up the convention hall. It's not cool for the people that have to clean it up. : All right this next rule is vital, and listen carefully. SHOWER, ok, Take a fuckin' Bath. This convention is Three days long! Have some mercy on the rest of us and take a bar of soap and chuck it underneath your arms. Start scrubbing for 30 minutes, then come back, ok. We'll still be here. : Germaine : Filth?! : Foamy : I hate standing in line, and in front of me someone smells, and in back of me someone smells. It's like being stuck in the middle of a funk sandwich. : Germaine : Dirrrty : Foamy : Shower! : Germaine : You're dirty : Foamy : All right, lets see, what have we got now? Ah, Blah, blah, blah Not important. Ah. No drugs, NO DRUGS. We don't need any high crack heads, running around, autographing their own eyeballs! Ok. Its, its. Funny, but not needed. There's a lot more other entertaining things than eyeball signing crack heads. Leave the drugs at home, and get high tomorrow. : Germaine : EEEEEEKK! : Foamy : Today is a day for animaie. Wooo : Germaine : EEEEEEKK! : Foamy : So all in all have fun, run around, shake the hands of the many guests that are here! Mingle, Network, Talk about your favorite things, and shower, ok, Shower. Your not gonna meet new people, who have the same interests, if you smell. Bathe. : Germaine : I should kill everyone here! : Foamy : You know they should really give out like Pikachu shape soaps here or something. Complimentary showers. End screen appears. External Links *Illwillpress website